The Month of Love: Falling in Love with Yourself

The word love is so common place today in our society. We use it to describe our favorite ice cream or to compliment a friend’s new haircut. With Valentine’s Day fast approaching we think of love and associate it with chocolate hearts, kisses, romantic dinners, and roses

These forms of love we are all familiar with, but when it comes to self-love many of us are confused as to its true meaning. We will be discussing what self-love means and how it can appear in our lives.



Self-love is thinking positively about yourself and feeling good about yourself the majority of the time. It is forgiving yourself when you make a mistake and being compassionate with your faults. It is believing that you are important and special enough to be a priority in your own live, believing you are worthy of love, and having confidence and satisfaction in yourself, your worth, and your abilities.


Black woman smiling on bench on city street


The way we feel about ourselves is directly correlated with the way we think of ourselves, therefore, self-love begins in the mind. The best way to begin self-love is to become aware and conscious of the self-talk going on throughout the day. Begin to monitor the thoughts you are having. Are your thoughts full of mostly negative self-talk or positive self-talk? Are you  belittling yourself for the mistakes you’ve made or are you congratulating yourself for small victories? Once you find your thought patterns you can recognize the areas you struggle with. Then, begin to replace the negative thoughts with more positive and uplifting ones.



Self-love can begin to grow as you do hard things. You can take pride in your accomplishments and feel satisfied in your achievements. A great way to start incorporating this principle is to say yes to your needs and no to your wants.  Focusing on our needs versus our wants helps turn us away from our automatic behavior patterns that we would typically do whether it be in shopping, relationships, food,  how we react when we’re angry, what we do when we’re feeling lonely and every other decision we make. By following your needs you will stay strong, centered, and moving towards your goals instead of being swept away by the exciting and new things that easily distract us.



A great way to improve self-love is by making yourself a priority and acting on what you want rather than what others want for you. This is taking ownership of your life and your happiness. In order to be able to do this you must know who you are, what you like, and what you want. If you don’t already know yourself in these areas, then begin to explore your likes and dislikes. What things do you like to do? What qualities do you admire? What morals are important to you? Once you figure out what is important to you it is a lot easier to make decisions that align with your morals, your wants, and your goals.

Leave a Reply