Self-love Through Self-care

Self-care is a hot topic these days, but when actually done, a lot of people feel guilty or selfish for doing something for themselves.  If this resonates with you, take a moment and reflect on this quote:

“You can’t pour from an empty cup. You must fill your own cup first.”

– Author unknown.

What if you couldn’t afford NOT to take care of yourself? What if taking care of yourself first meant that you had more love, more energy, more joy, more quality time, and just plain more of yourself to give to others? Self-care and self-love aren’t a form of selfishness, but are a way to ensure that we are taken care of first so that we have more to give to those we love.

Below are a list of ways to have self-care in all 5 of the areas of wellness.

Physical self-care


For grooming make sure to keep good personal hygiene, have presentable hair, dress in clean clothes,  men shave your face or trim your facial hair, and women put on make up or jewelry or whatever helps you feel nice. Good grooming can help increase self-confidence, self-esteem, and when you respect yourself, others will respect you more as well.


Exercise tends to have a negative connotation, but exercise doesn’t have to be grueling and strenuous. Exercise can be simple and the purpose is to get your body moving. Types of movement include walking, bike riding, dancing, yoga, stretching, and so much more.

Finding a movement that is enjoyable and that resonates with your body has major health benefits. Exercise releases a happy hormone called endorphins, it can increase your energy and focus, aid in bone density, and decrease risks of chronic disease.


One of the most important aspects of physical self-care is nutrition. What we eat affects everything in our bodies from hormones, energy levels, mental state, gut health, and illness. Almost more important than how much you eat is what you eat.

The easiest way to better the quality of food consumed is to focus on small, manageable changes that move you closer to a healthier lifestyle. This could be changing one of your snacks to a healthier alternative, changing one or two processed carbohydrates that you routinely eat to more complex carbohydrates i.e.  whole grains, oats, lentils, beans, fruits,  and vegetables, or substitute some of your caffeinated beverages/juices for water.

These are a couple of simple ways to get a head start on your nutrition and taking care of your body from the inside out. You only have one body after all so take care of it.

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Mental/Emotional self-care

Mental wellness is very distinct from emotional wellness, but they are both so closely related that it is hard to differentiate between the two. Because they both influence one another we will be grouping them together here.

Mental wellness deals with the ability to process information while emotional wellness is the ability to express your emotions based on what your mind processed. If one’s mind is altered by anxiety they might be so fixated on one thing that they wouldn’t process their surrounding information like normal. If they are unable to process information accurately, then their reaction to the situation would also be altered.

Here is a list of ways that we can give ourselves some love mentally and emotionally.

  • Practice positive self-talk
  • Get enough sleep
  • Exercise
  • Drink enough water
  • Practice gratitude
  • Serve others
  • Get a mental workout
  • Manage stress
  • Have a hobby that brings you happiness
  • The above list will apply to emotional health as well
  • Be more mindful- be present in the moment, be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and environment
  • Foster healthy relationships and cut out negative relationships
  • Accept your emotions
  • Speak up for yourself
  • Be inspired
  • Laugh

social self-care

Social wellness is our perception of belonging in relationships and how we interact with others. The best way to increase your social wellness is first to identify your specific needs. Do you like having a lot of friends or do you prefer a smaller circle with closer relationships? Identifying your needs will help you know how to proceed to fulfill those needs.

Ways to improve social wellness include:

  • Be more approachable. Smile and let people know you are open to talking
  • Pursue your interests and find like-minded people
  • Join a club or a group
  • Listen more intently and be more engaged when talking with others
  • Reach out and keep in contact with supportive family and friends

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Spiritual self-care

Spirituality is the quality and consciousness of the human spirit or soul. It is a connection with something greater than ourselves. This could be worshipping a God or deity, connecting with Mother Earth or the Universe. The best way to develop spiritual self-care is to start. Find something that feels right to you and don’t be afraid to explore it.  Finding our spirituality can help fill a hole we never realized we had.

The Month of Love: Falling in Love with Yourself

The word love is so common place today in our society. We use it to describe our favorite ice cream or to compliment a friend’s new haircut. With Valentine’s Day fast approaching we think of love and associate it with chocolate hearts, kisses, romantic dinners, and roses

These forms of love we are all familiar with, but when it comes to self-love many of us are confused as to its true meaning. We will be discussing what self-love means and how it can appear in our lives.



Self-love is thinking positively about yourself and feeling good about yourself the majority of the time. It is forgiving yourself when you make a mistake and being compassionate with your faults. It is believing that you are important and special enough to be a priority in your own live, believing you are worthy of love, and having confidence and satisfaction in yourself, your worth, and your abilities.


Black woman smiling on bench on city street


The way we feel about ourselves is directly correlated with the way we think of ourselves, therefore, self-love begins in the mind. The best way to begin self-love is to become aware and conscious of the self-talk going on throughout the day. Begin to monitor the thoughts you are having. Are your thoughts full of mostly negative self-talk or positive self-talk? Are you  belittling yourself for the mistakes you’ve made or are you congratulating yourself for small victories? Once you find your thought patterns you can recognize the areas you struggle with. Then, begin to replace the negative thoughts with more positive and uplifting ones.



Self-love can begin to grow as you do hard things. You can take pride in your accomplishments and feel satisfied in your achievements. A great way to start incorporating this principle is to say yes to your needs and no to your wants.  Focusing on our needs versus our wants helps turn us away from our automatic behavior patterns that we would typically do whether it be in shopping, relationships, food,  how we react when we’re angry, what we do when we’re feeling lonely and every other decision we make. By following your needs you will stay strong, centered, and moving towards your goals instead of being swept away by the exciting and new things that easily distract us.



A great way to improve self-love is by making yourself a priority and acting on what you want rather than what others want for you. This is taking ownership of your life and your happiness. In order to be able to do this you must know who you are, what you like, and what you want. If you don’t already know yourself in these areas, then begin to explore your likes and dislikes. What things do you like to do? What qualities do you admire? What morals are important to you? Once you figure out what is important to you it is a lot easier to make decisions that align with your morals, your wants, and your goals.